Sharing Your Mental Health Diagnosis

Before I became comfortable sharing my diagnosis, I first had to take the time to come to terms with it myself. I read today that “bipolar is one of the illnesses people have the hardest time accepting.” Dr. Parikh went on to say that “maybe one-third accept it right away. At least a third totally reject it, and a third believe it, but when they are better for a while, begin to doubt it again.”

Having been hospitalized for a full-blown manic episode with psychosis, it was hard to deny my diagnosis. During my recovery, I served as a facilitator of a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) support group for adults with mental health diagnoses. Through NAMI, I learned about the stages of emotional response. The first of which is dealing with catastrophic events. This might look attending a support group, but it might also look like talking with a therapist or someone else whom you trust. The second stage is learning to cope. Grief is a normal emotional response. You may feel like you have lost a piece of who you are, like you have fallen short of a goal, or like no one understands. I encourage you to write your thoughts out in a journal or to write a letter to yourself. The third stage of emotional response is moving into advocacy. I believe that I have finally reached this stage. I am comfortable enough with my experience to share it with others.

Regardless of which stage you find yourself in, here are some things for you to consider when sharing your diagnosis with other people:

1. Examine your why for sharing. You might have a need for support and are tired of suffering alone. That has personally never been my why. I isolated myself and was so ashamed of what I had been through. I didn’t want anybody to know for fear that they might look at me differently. My reasons for sharing now are to bring awareness, to encourage, and to end the stigma and the silence surrounding mental illness.
2. Determine what to share. You don’t have to give every detail. Remember: You don’t owe anybody anything. What are you comfortable sharing? If you’re just starting out, you might only want to share your diagnosis, and that’s okay! But do realize that you might get asked follow-up questions. It might be helpful, then, to decide beforehand how much you want to share or how you might tell someone that you do not want to discuss details.
3. Decide with whom to share. Who needs to know? For me, it was my parents, whom I leaned on for support; my graduate school professors; and my team of mental health professionals. Then think about those people you want to know and how they can support you.
4. Decide how to share. I first started sharing with people I wanted to know via email. That was all I could do at the time. I had to take baby steps. It eventually turned into sharing over the phone, then in person, and then even on YouTube.

If you have reached a point in your recovery where you would like to share your story with others – even if but a piece of it, understand that their responses are out of your control. Be prepared for negative reactions, but also, be prepared for tremendous support! The latter has largely been my experience. I feel more free every time I share. I allow my story to encourage others, and, in turn, allow others to encourage me and give me new perspective.

You are enough no matter what.

Lai