Faith. Family. Goals.

I’m in my 30s. I have multiple degrees, a number of experiences, and plenty of connections. And yet, I still don’t know “what I want to do with my life.” And to me, that’s not a bad thing – not at all. The time I spent working for those degrees, the lessons I’ve learned from those experiences, and the relationships I’ve built through those connections outweigh any career goal that I may have had throughout my life – and I’ve had many.

What I wanted to do with my life before it was interrupted by my first psychotic episode was finish my PhD in public policy and then go on to be something like a health policy consultant or a research associate. A think tank would have been my ideal work setting. Needless to say, I did not get that degree nor do I work for a think tank. But, years after I worked other jobs that made no sense at the time and earned a random degree in diagnostic medical sonography, I earned my Master of Health Administration. I struggled to find jobs that “fit” my resume. I submitted application after application, but nothing came of those except: “Thank you for your application, but…”. I think you know the rest.

I want to say I submitted my application for my current job in August of 2023. I got a call for an interview that November – the week of Thanksgiving, in fact. I was interviewed the following week. Within the week following the interview, I let my prospective supervisor know that I was expecting a child in the spring of 2024. The decision to disclose that information did not come easily, but after weighing the pros and cons of disclosing versus keeping the information to myself, disclosing won.

When I was offered the job, I was honestly perplexed – did he miss the part where I said I’m having a baby? My now supervisor assured me that that was not a concern; they just wanted to hire the best person for the job. It was then that I realized that in being willing to let go of what I thought was the perfect job opportunity, I had also let go of the hope that I would still be considered despite being pregnant.

I’ll be honest – the only reason I was willing to take that risk is because I had a full-time job to fall back on. If I didn’t, I am almost positive that I wouldn’t have disclosed my pregnancy before the job offer.

That’s not the only risk I took. I took a pay cut and a chance of being let go after my six-month probationary period. I also lost FMLA eligibility because I would not have been employed at my current job for a year before having to take maternity leave. Of all these risks I took, losing FMLA eligibility hit the hardest.

I did hold on to my ultrasound job PRN, so I was working roughly one to two Saturdays a month for a little while to save up before I quit. I didn’t miss the money at all, and I see consistent pay raises in my future. As far as my being on probation, I am not worried about being let go. I do my job well. I essentially get paid to think of new ideas, which is what I’ve always wanted anyway. I just took a short, but worthwhile detour to get where I am now. And I am sure more opportunities will come my way.

I was eligible for FMLA during my first pregnancy, and I took every last second of my twelve weeks of leave. I had a traumatic birth and postpartum experience the first time, so I really didn’t even begin recovering until three weeks after I had my child. And I had begun my maternity leave early due to pregnancy complications. So when I really think about it, I only had approximately 6 weeks. S I X W E E K S to recover, bond with my child, etc. Six weeks!

Fortunately, the pregnancy-related complications and trauma I endured the first time have not been the case this go round. However, because I accepted a new job with the hopes of fulfilling my personal goals and of being more present for my family, I am not eligible for FMLA. That means that I may not take 12 weeks. My second pregnancy and postpartum period have been amazing compared to my first. But what if it hadn’t been? Regardless, birthing people don’t get enough credit for carrying and nurturing human lives inside their bodies just to be overlooked and neglected after the baby is born, and a lot of times even before the baby is born, too. There is much to do in 12 weeks, and it’s especially hard when it’s a one-person job or when the person looking after the baby is sleep deprived or unable to afford necessities.

All of this said, I do not regret my decision to make a career change. Now that my second child is also here, I can truly say that I would do it all over again.

Signed,

Lai