Men’s Mental Health and the Loneliness Epidemic
I remember sitting in my apartment one night and getting a call from a good friend of mine. He was ready to take his life, but ultimately he didn’t. At least not that night. It would be about another six years before he completed suicide.
June is men’s health month, and that includes men’s mental health, which is largely overlooked. Given the stigma surrounding mental health and the misconception that mental illness is a sign of weakness, it’s no wonder that people – especially men – are reluctant to seek professional help. When men do find somewhere to go for assistance, they may be dismissed for a number of reasons: failing to meet criteria for a mental illness, appearing “fine” (i.e., emotionally detached), and being misdiagnosed due to a clinician’s own bias just to name a few. To add insult to injury, mental health professionals are predominantly female, which may make it even more difficult for men to connect and receive effective treatment.
Although men are less likely than women to be diagnosed with depression, men report being more lonely. In other words, they feel more isolated and socially distant. Research suggests that loneliness may not only be responsible for mental health problems but also for physical health problems that shorten life expectancy. That is why lonliness among men is referred to as a silent epidemic. Some attribute men’s loneliness to a lack of close, meaningful friendships and authentic social connections. This lack of intimacy in relationships – particularly platonic ones – might be the result of toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity may also, in part, explain the different manifestations of depression in men versus women and why screening tools do a poor job of identifying depression among men who seek help in the first place.
While men are less likely than women to be diagnosed with depression and to receive treatment for it, they are more likely than women to complete suicide and to abuse substances. It is clear that the math ain’t mathing here. Steps in the right direction are being taken as far as helping men get the help they need. For instance, mental health screening tools are being introduced in primary care settings and the conversation surrounding mental health is improving. But is this enough for men specifically? Given the statistics, probably not. What more can we do as a society to encourage connection among men and to support their mental health?
Having a friend that night was what he needed. Someone to meet him the next day, to give him something to look forward to.
